Zzz

Hate Myself for always being the one who huan lo so much.. now tat nobody is reading my blog.. i can just say wad i want in my blog rite..

Zzz.. tired.. just sian..
Really feel like and IDIOT sometimes.. =.=

go study le

Stay happy..

Today woke up rather early to study and stuffs.. den went to take a nap.. and went for tuition.. got home few hrs ago..

...dam.. MJ passed away.. i'm like omg.. tats.. bad..

although alot of ppl discussed bout stuffs like how he got white when hes a black and stuffs..but I think he's amazing..

Not really VERY in to his songs and dance and stuffs but I do respect him alot as an artiste and he really put in alot hardwork to bring a gd show to the ppl..hes amazing.. and its a pity that he have to die at the age of 50.. I hope for those who really look up to him and idolize him .. wld take it easy and dun be too sad.. for I guess he wld wish everyone who supports him to be happy=) .. take care

Its really scary when you see someone you love leaving you.. MJ might not be 'our' idol.. or maybe ..not as much as compared to others.. becoz our generation is more into K-pop, Jay Chou.. Linkin Park and many other stars..which will be never ending becoz its up to ones preference=.=.. but for those who really love the person and the person leaves.. its gonna be a hell lot of pain..

And I'm just glad my love ones are safe and healthy .. might not be happy.. but I'm happy that they are still alive and KICKING!

To be honest .. I'm someone who sees 'death' rather okay for MYSELF.. meaning.. if I die.. I'm perfectly fine.. thats nature.. if I've to die..den die lo.. I won't be afraid .. ok maybe afraid of the pain and stuffs.. but death is okay to me.. as in if one have to go.. we just have to go..

But I'm just afraid that ppl wld be in pain or sad over my death =X.. will there be anyone?.. geez.. lol

But when if anything happens to my love ones.. I'll be really really hurt.. so I'm always very worried bout how they are.. just tat I dun really show out..

So we shld really cherish ourselves and others right?.. like when we are alive.. what can we do to make this world better?.. Take gd care of our family members.. take gd care of our friends.. and do good deeds if we can.. if we are capable of ..

No matter what.. we should be happy.. =) whats personal problems compared to the negative impacts we are gonna have if we neglect our love ones?..

so.. we must move on.. we must be strong=) we must do it .. for our love ones.. for there isnt just 1 person we are loving.. not our girlfriend or boyfriend.. but also our Dad.. our Mum.. our siblings.. just imagine one day if something happens .. and they are gone.. like gone forever..

how will we feel?..

I'm in a rather COLD family.. cold as in I talk to my Dad.. for like less than 300 words a year.. thats lesser than an English Essay..and everytime when I talk to him..its about expense for the sch.. expense for myself.. and stuffs like that.. he will be so PISSED

And becoz my younger brother is very IN to studying ..and I really give my support to him.. we seldom talk to.. my elder bro is in Navy.. and hes got GF.. so lol.. and my mum have this fued with my grandma.. becoz of some past unhappiness..

theres really alot of problems in my family.. but I wake up everyday.. telling myself tat.. thats my Dad.. thats my Mum.. they've work their ass off to support us in our studies.. and I shldn't talk back even if they are rather unreasonable sometimes..

I always tot that they dun really know how I feel.. and they nver really care bout me..

den i started to think.. wad bout me.. .. did I ?

Seriously I dunno how it feels like to work 7 days a week.. 7 hrs a day to support a family of 5.. (Sis married, Bro Supporting himself alrdy=))

And I nver know how it feels like to be a housewife after working like real hard for 20 years..

And I never know how it feels like .. to wanna obtain the best in academics.. and study like 12 hours a day.. tats my younger bro.. =).. i really wish he dun get crazy b4 As..

yeah.. so basically.. I find that I'm wrong.. A couple brought me up since I was a baby.. gave up their dreams.. gave up their time..

And I really shld appreciate for wad they have gave me for the past 18 years..

So I wld wanna love them.. and wanna repay them.. I wanna do my best too =))

I wish I can.. be someone they can rely on.. and all they have done for me have not gone to waste=)..

I Love Them=)

And for them.. I've to stay strong and happy..

All of us have to be too=)

To all who hates me.. =)

LOL.. ok.. guess what.. i think i'm going sick?.. like real sick.. coz im laughing when this happens..

I aint even tired of it or angry or wad..

just that.. finds it rather funny..

ok so heres the thing..

I find it rather amusing when ppl talks bout me.. yes her bday is coming.. yes ive prepared a present.. but it aint something BIG.. becoz we just got to know each other recently.. and well i dun really like complicated stuffs.. so basically just prepare a small present for her.. hope she doesn't mind.. like its really nth.. just some simple stuffs..

but wad puzzles me is the kind of response im having..

I'm like the satan of the earth NOW ! lol..

Well.. the only thing is I'm still so glad that I still have friends in JJ whoms with me.. friends like Benny, Gui ping.. Loh Yee.. Zi Hui.. Jia Long..and a few others.. becoz they've heard my story and they feel tat they shld be neutral ... and wads between 2 person.. shld be between 2 person ..

Well its really gd to have them=)) becoz when I fall they will always be there for me to make me stand up again.. esp Benny and Gui Ping.. but recently dun wanna bother them anymore..

Perhaps becoz I really find it rather.. tormenting to still be like unhappy or wad.. so I promised her, Jia Xin.. I promised myself that I'm gonna be happy.. =)and I will.. no matter how much you guys wish to see me fall..

I won't fall .. even if i do I'll stand up again..

Okay perhaps im gonna be a jerk in most of your eyes.. for the rest of your life.. but .. well .. just hope u guys would let me BREATHE sometimes alright?.. dun be overboard .. like opening another letter of mine? or spam my board telling me who I am.. or stuffs like that.... or .. just do anything jackass that makes me feel like shit again..

You can gossip.. u can talk bout me .. (Don't even understand why u guys wanna talk bout a jerk).. its perfectly fine..

If you guys hate me.. dun smile when u guys see me =) .. i dun wanna see fake smile or what..

Just continue to hate me ... you guys are right.. I am a jerk..? I agree totally ..like 100% .. but pls dun do anything tat hurts the others ok?..

... hai... (tat aint a sigh.. i just toook a breath thats all)

k=) tc everyone

Happy Belated Birthday To WAN YING=D

lol..omg omg.. ok I know im 4 days late.. but better late den never right.. I'm just gonna write one big big one ok?..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY ONG WAN YING =D
EVERYONE PLS REMEMBER ITS 22nd JUNE ! NEXT YEAR RMB TO WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY ON THAT DAY!.. lol

Totally lost track of time carrying out my daily routine..
=X..but its my bad for not wishing her HAPPY BIRTHDAY=D..

How can I not wish my one ..... s.... partner right ?!?! lol!
Jk.. just my lovely table tennis junior from unity.. =D
Oman.. so sry.. really.. not I dun care hor.. =.=zzz

Anyway still sry=D..but.. will bu chang 1 =D
All the best in AJ and jy in ur studies =)
Take gd care =))) meet up soon =)

Hatred will be gone=)

I won't let hatred fill my heart.. =).. I dunno how to face them still but.. I won't be blaming anymore..

The only person I will blame will be myself.. but since the the person whom I owed has forgive me .. I will forgive myself.. and move on =) ... and i realise the reason why i hate them so much is becoz i really loved them alot..

just let it go..

**** you .. btw u are still douche bag.. I really want you to reveal yourself.. so I can take gd care of such a busybody ass like you.. just be my sandbag for a few hrs and I'll let you go okay?=).. I dun hate you.. for I dint even love you before.. i bet nobody ever did=)

If you have the balls.. call me=)
If your's a pussy.. kindly take a banana and stuff it in..
PS. you will need a huge one..=)

Baby Cousin =)

Went KL and Genting in 2 days=.=..thanks to mum..lol..actually i wanted to go walk walk.. but 2 days=.= super rush..have to rush back for lesson..
But my aunt let us stay at her house(THANKS ALOT) and I saw this lovely baby cousin of mine..omg..




Isn't she cute.. look at her eyes omg.. She's gorgeous =)

突然好想变成和她一样.. 想怎样就怎样=）
要抱抱就有抱抱 ..

她的眼中只有喜悦
很简单.. 很快了...

For a moment .. I wish I could be her..


去年我 'sung' 的一声.. 变成了学校令人尊敬, 令人看起的一位好学生一位好人.. 好开心..

今年又 'sung' 因为我自己私人的事, 让众人把我视为天下最卑鄙, 最可恶, 最狠心的家伙

他们对我失去了最简单的一个信任..

而我也因此失去了我信任.. 我相信.. 和我最爱的朋友..

我已经想尽办法让自己忘记.. 但人们常说.. 当你越爱一个人.. 你就会越狠..

当我越爱他们.. 我也就越狠他们..

始终无法相信这事情发生了.. 连我最觉得不可能做出这种事的人也承认了..

我现在每天都过着.. 像是有疑心病似的..

不敢再相信人了.. 像疯了似的..

这一年来.. 经历过了好多不愉快的事..

好像从最高处跌了下来.. 永远爬不上去了..

好想做了一场梦..

如果真是一场梦的话...

我真的好想快点醒来..

我好想做人们眼中的

‘好人’..

Trust

A....


I trusted you.. so much.. ..

The first person I saw and tot who I cld.. as it was so important to me..

I really can't believe it..

Just fuck off from me now..

Food Poisoning..

OK.. and guess wad.. Benny also tio.. but his is food poisoning ..lol..nice plan sia.. wad the heck.. dam brother la.. wah.. dam cui.. sian..

Doc says mine is .. dunno stomach dunno wad.. lol.. cant really rmb.. oman.. dam.. why so sway=.=

shall go rest now.. tc everyone...beware of wad u eat!

ill

Had the worst day ever on the 2nd of June.. Its been very long since i felt so ill..

Although I'm feeling better now..it just feels rather terrible..

Felt very Giddy.. Headache.. and my bone was aching.. felt like throwing up.. but i dint eat anything so cld'nt have anything to vomit.. perhaps.. this is wad I deserve..

Really puzzled me..

Esp when I'm in bed.. felt so alone..

Some things just feels so weird.. I really wonder how much I mean to the ones I love.. esp..

...

Really hope .. 3rd of June this year.. shall be a gd day for both of us...tc..

Tc everyone..